There are so many things I’m missing out on at home, or where I left from. All the new bars, cafes, iMax movies, awesome food, parties, events and the people who make my life better and make me feel loved.
But this is the price I agreed to and I’m willingly paying. It’s not better or worse, it’s not good or bad, just different. Very different.
I feel myself growing up more, being slightly more at ease, slightly more resilient, slightly calmer, slightly more present and slightly more aware. I understand slightly more and I speak slightly less. I smile more and frown less. I appreciate basic comforts more and luxury less.
I move more and sit less. I work on solutions more and complain less. I’m more accepting of others and myself. I admit to my mistakes more, so I can work on repeating them less. I’ve been experiencing less frustration, anger, sadness, disappointments, stress and worry. I still get melancholic sometimes, but I know that’s just my unquenchable, restless soul… 😂
There’s very little to prove or need to be validated, and a lot less time spent doing so. I know my ideas and opinions are just that - mine, and they come from my past experiences, what I’ve learned and how I grew up - and everyone has different experiences, learnings and ways they grew up. So it’s by default that what we think, expect and want are not the same. But once in a while, we meet some on common ground because we share the same heart, and that is when a moment unexpectedly shines.
Damn, I think this is what they call adulting. It ain’t got nothing to do with age. Some experience it earlier, some later, some never.
I don’t know, and it’s alright now that I don’t. I don’t see this stopping - I want to look back and see how far I’ve come and know that the journey doesn’t end until it does, rather than just see how much older I’ve grown in the same spot, regardless of how comfortable and safe it is.
I made my choice. It’s all unknown moving forward into every single moment, and I’m copacetic.
Luang Prabang, Laos