I’ve always wanted to be fitter, slimmer and lighter. But I never could seem to do it after all these years. I came close and then something always happens, and my resolve fizzles.
I think I found out why last year. The reason I couldn’t stick to it was because I wanted it for others - for them to be impressed, to find me attractive, to feel good from mass acceptance and approval. To fit into the definition of what a strong, attractive and desired man would be. Yeah, it was pretty dumb and shallow I know. 😜
This time, and for the first time, I don’t seem to have any issues doing the same slowly, very slowly and it seems to be working.
It’s not willpower though. Strange.
Maybe because willpower is doing our best to swim upstream, to do something we haven’t truly internalised yet. The only difference this time is I’m actually doing it for me now. Not to look good, not to impress, not to live up to some arbitrary physical standard we are constantly bombarded with. But to be lighter, slimmer, stronger and hopefully healthier, so I can fit better in my old clothes, to be able to do more, and to be the person that I can be.
So yeah. I set a deadline to lose 10kgs and be fitter by 30 June 2021, and I have now lost almost 12kgs before the end of the month. Another 3kgs to go and I think I have a pretty good chance of doing so.
Damn. I can actually fit into this singlet from 8 years ago, bought new and never worn.
I’m looking forward to how I can and will be by the end of this year, and before I start driving. Nice.