Updated: Jun 27, 2021
And when we do, we see it for what it truly is and we can start to deal with it.
Bullies are the most repressed and the people most unhappy with themselves.
They have nothing better to do. There is nothing else they can do make to make themselves feel better or that they matter. Despite appearances that they keep, they are deeply sad and angry at their own perceived impotence and inadequacy. If they can't love themselves for who they are, they are incapable of loving others for who others are too.
Some of them claim to represent the majority when they are the toxic minority. Some of them position themselves as champions online because they aren't or they can't be in real life.
You can see them hiding behind their screens and keyboards, showing behaviour that most decent people don't and what they themselves won't in real life. Some of them start with sniping, but most go in for a full assault almost immediately from the safety of their screens. All they need is a trigger, an excuse.
It's a cry of pain and anger at themselves, that if they can't be happy then no one else deserves to be too. If they cannot stop others from judging them, they will judge others as well. If they couldn't stop being bullied, they will bully someone else every chance they get.
They need to feel powerful, regardless of the harm or injustice perpetrated, because in their everyday lives they feel powerless.
It's like what 22 (as Joe) said in Soul:
“People like him just bring other people down so they can make themselves feel better.”
“He’s just criticizing me to cover up the pain of his own failed dreams.”
They hide behind their Instagram and Facebook accounts, their anonymity on YouTube and the safety of their screens. But one thing is undeniable - they only do this because they are sad, frustrated, lonely and feel woefully inadequate in real life.
That's the saddest thing of all, and they broadcast it to the world because no one else in their real-world seems to be listening.
The thing is, there will always be someone who will listen without judging us or putting us down. We just need to find the courage to seek them out, to be vulnerable and to share.
And we will likely find that they need us as much we need them.